why do we do this?

this is a question i imagine puzzles quite a few people, and i know that many vampires are disturbed by it: why do we donors, we crimson and crystal and amber swans, give of ourselves the way we do?

it is a tricky question for me too, which i have spent some time thinking about. as is to be expected i have found many reasons for becoming donors, some of them quite simple and straightforward, some of them complex and possibly troubling.

at a very basic level i have come to distinguish three, possibly four types of donors (i’m not sure that the fourth type actually exists, but i’ll get to that later). the first type is what i call the compassionate donor. the second i call the fetishistic donor. the third, which i think could possibly be conflated with the second, is the vampire fan. finally, the fourth type of donor is what i call the “natural” donor. from what i’ve seen these are quite distinct types of donors, they have distinct motivations and behaviours.

the compassionate donor is one of the easier cases to describe. they are usually already involved with the vampire they donate to, often romantically, before they learn of their partner or friend’s vampirism. they become donors after their vampire confides in them, and do so out of a desire to help their loved one. they are usually single-vamp donors, and stop donating if the vampire leaves their life. they are sometimes possessive of their vampires, and if they are romantically involved they might insist that the vampire not have other donors.

the fetishistic donor gets sexual pleasure from donating, or from activities associated with donating. they might be blood-fetishists who get a kick out of the blood-play, or deep submissives who allow their dominant to use their body as they wish, or people with any of a dozen or more other fetishes. many vamps seem to be wary of fetishistic donors, because they conflate sex and vampirism; while combining the two can be fun, vampires are usually insistent that their feeding is not sexual, and many insist on separating feeding and sex. fetishistic donors are often relatively indiscriminate about who they play with – and it is play in the bdsm sense to them – and might be just as happy to bleed for a non-vamp as a vampire.

the vampire fan as a donor is a difficult case, and i’m not exactly sure that they exist/actually donate. they are people attracted to vampires for the perceived allure of the vampire as transmitted through the media. for them, becoming a donor is almost a status-symbol, they step into the aura of the vampire and inherit some of it’s allure. as a rule, i think these would be much more likely to be found with lifestylers than with real vampires.

the donors i have chosen to call natural donors are possibly at once the easiest and the most difficult to understand. easy, because we have a very simple explanation for why we become donors: it is simply what we feel is right. difficult, because we cannot properly explain why this feels right.* we have a deeply rooted desire to donate, sometimes so intense that we call it a need. many of us experience donating as pleasurable. like vampires we are very aware that a donor/vampire relationship is not sexual, and of all the donors we’re the ones least likely to conflate vampirism and sexuality. we’re also the ones who, if asked to compare between the two, will say that donoring is much bigger than sex.

these is very much my own attempt at a typology of donors, it’s based only on my own observations. i am not claiming that this is recognised by the wider vampire community. these categories aren’t exclusive either, any combination of these is possible; and there are undoubtedly donors who won’t fit in any of them, who have their very own motivations for donoring. so don’t take this as gospel, indeed, don’t take anything of what i say as gospel.

in a future post i plan on talking about how i came to become a donor, and what donoring feels like for me. perhaps that will also give some insight into why i am a donor.

* while of course not implying any equivalency between sexuality and vampirism, i do think that a possible analogy for what i mean when i say that donoring feels “right” to us can be found in sexual orientation; i’m pretty sure that only a small minority of people can explain why they swing the way they do.

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    • Shelley
    • September 29th, 2009

    I have been searching within myself & trying to read up on donating. I haven’t quite figured out what my motivation for it would be. I feel like I would be some of each category you described but I think I lean towards the fetishistic. Although it would feel sexual, I wouldn’t necessarily need there to be sexual acts involved. I don’t have the need to be dominated but it would naturally feel dominating to be fed from. The experience may also feel mothering as if I would be taking care of the vampire. I am still searching my commitment level as I think that would be fair to be commited to the vampire. Do you know of anything I can read to help me understand what would be involved over the long haul? Or any advice you could give me?

    • Jacob
    • December 16th, 2009

    I feel similarly to Shelly in that i can relate to a combination of the different characteristics your archetypal motives better than any singular profile. I feel a distinctly sexual attraction towards the vampire who fed from me (partially brought upon by my masochistic nature, partly from the actual physical attraction i had to the vampire even before he fed from me, and partially from something else that i cannot put a name to), and yet, i felt that the act of feeding itself was something altogether far more significant then that sexual level… I wouldn’t call myself paternalistic to the vampire, although a sense of nurturing definitely ran through the night… What was more predominant in the relationship we quickly developed was a sense of an almost romantic caring for him in that i wanted to please him and to nourish him, beyond anything I have wanted before, and he needed me. I guess i fit into a combination of the ‘Compassionate’ and the ‘Fetishistic’ Donor archetypes… I do not presume to fit into the ‘natural donor’ category, but I certainly feel that some of the characteristics that define that group certainly apply to me too.

    I don’t know if that helps you with your categorizing of donor types, but I felt obliged to share my experiences and thoughts on the matter.

    I’d be interested to hear you elaborate more on your ‘natural donor’ idea, you seem to identify closest with that, and I’d like to understand it better…

  1. August 11th, 2009
  2. September 30th, 2009
  3. October 20th, 2009

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