Archive for May, 2009

a simple truth

here’s a truth so simple that it’s almost stupid. donating feels good. donating feels pretty damn good, even. there’s the feed itself, the anticipation as your vampire gets ready, the build-up in your body as you prepare to release your energy. then the gasping shock as they pierce your system, the massive flux of energy as they drain you. your body writhes and you’re gasping for breath. as the feed progresses you start losing feeling in your fingers and toes, then you start blacking out.

afterwards you lie there panting and shaking and being cuddled and loved. and your vamp is feeling so good. maybe they’ll wrap your whole being in their aura and give you so much warmth. or they’ll chat with you about sweet nothings. or they’ll pour their heart out to you. or maybe they’ll just let you sleep. but they’ll all be kind to you. so slow recovery and just feeling so happy.

and all through, the intimacy, you’re letting somebody in deeper into yourself than ever possible otherwise. you’re letting somebody take of your very existence, you’re giving a part of yourself to your vamp. that is so overwhelming.

but the donating itself, the feed itself; that is pure hedonistic pleasure.



as promised i have added another new page, concerning negotiations in vampire/donor relationships. i am firmly convinced that whatever kind of relationship you have with another, whether it be purely vanilla, something kinky, or indeed one between a vampire and a donor, one of the most important factors to the success of the relationship lies in working things out with each other.

the less conventional the relationship, the more it becomes important that you know what you and your partner(s) are getting out of it. and there’s few relationships out there as unconventional as the one between vampire and donor.

i think there’s going to be at least one more text in the safety series, but it’s going to take a little while. and that’s about it for now.


hey, just a quickie because i know it’s been a whole week since i updated, and i don’t really want to leave you hanging like that.

i’ve had a few tricky days in the last week, in particular centred around school and classes. it seems to be all working out now, thanks to a very good friend who basically saved my ass (sorry for the vulgar language). but it was really destroying me, so much that random people asked if i was doing okay. i’m back on more solid ground now, it feels like that at least, and doing better.

on a funny note, on monday evening, the day i was feeling worst, my therapist called. i haven’t seen nor spoken with her for about half a year, so when she asked how i was doing and if i wanted a session i thought it was remarkably apposite. i’m seeing her tomorrow afternoon.

i’ve also been working on another permanent page about safety matters, which seems to be growing quite substantial. you’ll see that when it’s ready.

and that’s pretty much it for just now, look forward to new posts soon.

safety and other matters

just a short update because it’s been a while. if you look in the sidebar you will see that there’s a new permanent page titled “matters of safety“. that is the first of a series of texts i’m planning in regards to safety and risk as concerns donors and vampires, and talks about risks involved in bloodletting and dangers posed by transmittable diseases. i’m a bit of a nut for risk, not because i think you should avoid all risk (not possible anyway), but because i find the subject of how we as individuals and as a society deal with risk to be highly fascinating. i could ramble on at length about the subject.

in other news, i found a german-speaking and apparently fairly active vampire site called conventum tenebrarum. i have to say that i find the name exceedingly pompous, that is actually something which runs rampant all through the vampire community. i haven’t yet investigated in depths, but i’ve chatted a little and read some posts in the forum, and they seem to be a reasonable lot – inasmuch as that can be said of any vampire community.

i did have other stuff i wanted to write about, but i fail utterly at recalling what it was. so i’ll leave you all with this.

jealousy take two

in my last post i announced that i wanted to talk about jealousy, and i did start that post yesterday, but got utterly stuck. then late last night somebody (jinx, but it’s an anonimous email) posted this comment to the post:

So tell us more about the H and S vampires. Why are you drawn to them? Are you cheating on C? What do you these people give you?

and actually these are very good hooks for me, and i hope to be able to structure my post with them. so whoever you are, jinx, thanks for the questions.

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