really glad that i waited

regarding last night’s post, i’m really glad that i waited just that little bit longer for S to appear. i was really about to feed a vamp in the chat (or several vamps, don’t know how that would have worked). i think maybe 15 minutes more, and it would have been done. with all the feelings of sluttiness and throwing myself away for nothing that would have been implied by that.

the whole exchange with S last night lasted less than half an hour (i was just now reading through the chat). the feeding takes almost half of that. i gave a lot, she took powerfully, it was almost violent. i think if i could donate in person instead of long-distance i would have marks afterwards. but you know, i like that. donating, even if it’s “only” psi, is a very visceral experience for me. it is wild. it breaks boundaries. it goes into what might be considered slightly unsafe areas.

she brought me to the edge of fainting last night. really close. i like it. i’m not sure she could bring me to faint completely though. when i was closest to the edge i could feel something shifting in me and producing more energy.

the only thing i might have wished for would have been a little more snuggle time afterwards. to hold me through the time directly afterwards, when i’m shaky and hardly know what’s up and down (she was there through most of that, that was good). but then also to share the euphoria with which sets in afterwards. which is not so much a exuberant happiness, but a nice gentle feeling of calm and peaceful joy.

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