spotting vampires

two days ago i was in town, waiting for people who didn’t show up, and watching everybody else. when all of a sudden my senses screamed “vampire”. i found the person easily, a woman, straight black hair just below her shoulders, about 5’8 or so, looked about 30 but honestly could also have been 50, metallic blue dress, two or three people almost visibly tethered to her. they went to get drinks, and then i lost sight of them.

i have two thoughts about the incident. the first is that this would be the second vampire i’ve spotted. it shouldn’t really be surprising; as much as there are vampires and donors who don’t know any others, there are people who know two or three vampires in their offline life. these are not people living in a scene or particular setting either, some of them are just kids going to school, where your choice of people to meet and hang around with is limited by outside constraints.

you could make an argument that many teens are just wannabes or posers, just as similar arguments are made by grown-up people (trans or cis) about all the trans-kids which are popping up these days. but whether that is true or not (personally i believe there are some wannabes, but that there’s many more trans-people and vamps than the older generations imagine) there ought to be a minimum number of vamps around town, enough that one ought to encounter them every so often.

the other thought is more tricky: how the heck do i know that she’s a vampire? the first one i spotted was fairly obvious, because i sensed her feeding on me. this one, it was really just my senses poking me saying look there, look there, she’s a vamp, seriously, LOOK! there is no real foundation of knowledge permitting me to identify a vampire, there is no vampire look or style, nothing really allowing me to “know”. yet instinctively i know it.

i do not trust that kind of knowledge. i do not trust things which i “know” without having a reason for them. it makes me distinctly uneasy. yet when i talk about and explore my draconicity it is this kind of knowledge which brings me further, it is stuff i just know, without rhyme or reason. my best writing about being a dragon is that which just comes out, without any thought. even more pertinent, because deeply rooted in what we almost all agree on as reality, is my being a girl. there is absolutely no way to “know” that it is what i am, and from time to time i still get powerful thoughts of “what the heck are you doing?!” yet with all the steps i have already taken towards becoming and being a girl, and with all the good this has already brought to me, i cannot but accept that this instinctive knowledge i’ve had all my life is true.

so i’m in a bit of a bind. do i trust my instinctive knowledge? do i go with the flow, with the risk of losing touch with reality? do i remain critical, with the risk of missing really important stuff? i guess that with the vampires, time will tell. i’m going to meet more of them with time, and i’ll learn if my instinctual recognition works or not. and with all the rest, i think i don’t have any answers right now.

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