been a while

these “been a while” posts, also “i need to update more often” and similar, are often bad signs on blogs, indicating that the blogger has kind of lost interest in the subject and wandered off to do something else, like getting a life. actually, something like that has happened to me (getting a life, of sorts), which has kept me quite preoccupied, but i have no intention of abandoning this blog.

another reason why i haven’t updated in ten days is that the whole donoring thing has been going kind of bumpy. one of my vampires has pretty much disappeared, for reasons i understand but which don’t really need to be mentioned here. another hasn’t disappeared, but is spending much time in offline-land (also for reasons i understand). i miss both of them. at the same time i’ve decided that i really don’t want to donate randomly anymore, because it really made me feel cheap and was mostly just not worthwhile. thankfully i found another vampire whom i donate to more or less regularly; but i’m really not getting to donate as much as would be good for me.

it is rather stressful for me, obviously. but beyond that it’s led me to wonder about the whole remote-feeding and feeding people one meets online thing. even the ones i donate to regularly were chosen more because they were available, and less because of having an established relationship with them. in an act of irony, the energy vampire i’ve built a longer, more serious relationship with doesn’t want to feed from me. but what i’m wondering is, how do other people who feed or donate mainly to people they know online handle the inherent looseness of many relationships which are built online?

in sociology, we speak of weak ties when we refer to the kind of casual relationships which are built in facebook and other social networking sites. they’re not inherently bad, but they can be very casual and can be cut quite easily. from some vamps i get the impression that they go trawling the net, manipulating people who are barely aware of what is happening into opening links to them, and feeding from them. and i know that this would be a feasible method, there are enough places where vampires hang out, and it’s stupidly easy to make them desire you. but it is not what i want.

now i know that long-term relationships can be built online, but they are rare and take time. i look forward to the time i have a vampire to donate to who is local to me, who i have strong ties to, who won’t just disappear on me. i guess i have to be patient.

    • Alessandria
    • July 12th, 2009

    I dont know if im one of the people mentioned above for wondering off into offline land =) But i’m sorry i have been away, l know ofc that you understand but its still crap to just drop people and for that i am sorry.
    Was great speaking to you tonight…(sun rises beside me) oh..well last night and this morning *giggle*

    Speak soon, and keep writing <3

    • *chuckles* no worries, the ones i’m talking about were ones i’d had more or less long-term donor relationships with. those were in a way more vamps than friends; you’re more friend than vamp.

    • ClayCat
    • July 12th, 2009

    The donor who unceremoniously dumped me was someone I met online and then we became friends, or so I thought. My point here is that even relationships that seem kind of strong (we were together for around a year, I think, and it was going seemingly well) can end in a heartbeat for whatever reason. Some of my online friendships have lasted longer, even though I’ve never met the people.

    diss, I so wish you were closer to me *growls*

    • yeah, offline relationships are of course far from break-up-proof. i think my point was that it’s much easier to go to “friend” status online (be that on facebook or the vcmb or elsewhere) than it is offline (in what most people still call “real” life). but for many (if not most) people these ties are much weaker than those built offline. for me, my oldest friends are all people i met online.

      in other news, frak geography. you’re on the shortlist of people i’d gladly allow to dine one me.

    • Sara
    • July 14th, 2009

    Some might be afraid of losing the tangible “real world relationships”, generally things like that happen when one is partnered to someone who does not share these same vamp beliefs.

    I know that I am one of those bad vamps….believe it or not I miss you more than you know.

    • Sara, you’re not “bad”, i really do understand that your partner comes first. and that’s not a bad thing. it’s not even a question of offline vs. online, you’ve been with her for many years and share your life, of course she comes first. i also don’t imagine that it’s been any easier to deal with not feeding/donoring than it’s been for me; probably it’s been rather harder for you.

      you’re not a bad vamp, and i do miss you too.

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