New Start

Whoa! It’s been a whole month since my last update! I’m really sorry about that, i hate it when “real” life takes over and disrupts my online time. School is keeping me busy, i’ve got two projects going (one which will be finished soon, the other by the end of january). If all goes well that means i’ll have my bachelors done and over with in two months time! It’s kind of weird, four years ago, when i was seriously thinking about going to uni, my whole life was so different. Ah yes, all that official writing and stuff has lead me to re-adopt proper capitalisation and such. Well, except for the first person singular pronoun, i still find that capitalising “I” is symbolic of the worst kind of human egocentrism and hubris. It pains me to capitalise it even at the start of a sentence.

Another thing occupying my time has been the search for employment. It’s not been going well, but i’m starting a temp gig at the TSR, which is the national french-language tv station. Tuesday is the training day. It’s only for a month, but it’s good money and that will certainly help out.

I’ve also been writing a fair bit for myself, working on my fiction. There’s an online workshop for Sci-fi/Fantasy/Horror writers that i’ve been participating in, and that’s been very helpful. They tell me i need to work more on my characters, giving them depth and structure, which i find rather difficult. And no, there’s nothing i currently want to share, sorry.

Finally, i’ve been spending a lot of time with a girl i met in class. I’d seen her at uni before, she’s one of those people who are difficult not to notice, and not only because very few girls at uni dress as punks and keep their head shaved. Like me she’s a mature student, and now in her second year of sociology. Single mum with a 13 year old daughter, her life has gone through more twists than a crooked corkscrew. We sit in the kitchen of her WG (how the heck do you translate WG into english? House-share?) and chat for hours. Sometimes we cuddle chastely in the couch and watch intellectual french movies. I really enjoy the soft physical comfort, the closeness, and i’m growing very fond of her. Part of me is hoping that one of these days she will ask me to stay the night, but i’m also a little wary.

But this is a donor blog, you say, and you’ve written nothing about donoring in the whole post! Indeed, i haven’t donated since mid-september. Partly it’s the logistics of getting there; it’s quite a distance, and i’ve been very broke while looking for a job (but see above). But also, we had a bit of a crisis, to put it mildly, with my vamp’s bf furious at me. For a time he insisted that there could be no contact at all between my vamp and me. I felt destroyed; i loved my vamp, would have given anything for her. In the end i think he was also justified, though it was very painful for me. But she explained they had been together long before i inserted myself into their relationship, and she loved him and wanted to be with him. That was very hard too, and felt like a kind of betrayal. Eventually he relented, and allowed her to keep me as a donor, which i am glad for. I wanted to be her donor before i fell in love with her, and despite the hurt i still like her and still want to be her donor. And i’d rather be her friend and donor than be nothing at all to her. I’d be a bad donor if i expected her to leave her relationship for me, or if i caused her relationship to break up. I’m glad i can still be her donor, still give her the blood she needs to be healthy.

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