vampires and sex – am i a blood fetishist or what?

According to the encyclopedia dramatica at least i am a blood-fetishist.[1] Now while i can’t really take the ED very seriously – it’s all for the lulz after all – it does put it’s finger on a rather delicate question, which actually has been bugging me on and off for quite some time. Are blood and sex connected? Is feeding sexual? If so: how and why?

The short answer: sex and feeding are different things, though they have some similarities which make it easy to confuse the two. They are both very intimate acts. They are both ecstatic[2] acts. Both satisfy deep-seated desires and needs. But those desires and needs are separate, satisfying one of them does not satisfy the other, and sex cannot replace feeding, just as feeding can’t replace sex.

To put it in a little more detail: there are some vamps i find myself incredibly attracted as a donor. I would find it very difficult to explain what exactly causes this attraction, and most vampires don’t have this effect on me. But those which do, they make me want to offer them my wrists and a blade and beg them to take me. Okay, not quite that extreme, because we are polite and a lot of vampires are actually quite embarrassed about wanting to drink our blood.

I will hazard a guess that most of my readers have not experienced this feeling of wanting somebody to go omnomnom on them, but i think most of you have felt sexual attraction of the kind which makes you want to slink up to the hottie[3], brush against their body and beg them to take you now. And well, except if you are in the right kind of club or such you probably don’t actually do that, because you too are polite.

But these are very different forms of attraction. When i am attracted as a donor to a vampire that does not mean that i am attracted to them sexually. Inversely, when i am attracted to somebody sexually, that does not mean that i am attracted to them as a donor. Even when i am sexually attracted to somebody who happens to be a vampire i am not necessarily attracted to them as a donor. This does not mean that the two forms of attraction are mutually exclusive: i have experienced both at the same time, directed towards the same person. But even then sex and blood didn’t really mix very well for me.

Of course there are other approaches. Many vampires and donors strictly separate their vampiric relationships from their romantic relationships. Others pretty much expect that feeding will lead to sex (again, there are both vampires and donors with this attitude). Others again mostly search for donors outside of their romantic relationships, but will gently nudge their lovers into becoming donors (which does make sense, as there is already trust and intimacy and the partner tends to be around and available).

As you can see there is a wide variety of ways in people deal with the intersection of blood and sex. For me they are comparable in intensity and intimacy (though for me donating is both more intense and intimate), but entirely separate in the feelings and sensations they give me. Of course that still doesn’t really answer my original question: am i a blood-fetishist? In the strict sense of the word certainly not, i do not receive sexual gratification from donating, much less need to donate to do so. Today “fetish” is usually used more loosely to designate any slightly uncommon sexual preference, but even then: is my attraction to vampires sexual? I don’t think so, but you will have to decide for yourself.

[1] i’m not going to link it, sorry. Look for the ED article on Sanguinarius. I’m kind of chuffed to be listed there, that somebody finds me relevant enough to go to the trouble to include me there.
[2] i use “ecstatic” in a slightly unusual way: i don’t mean “rapturous pleasure”, though that could also be ecstatic, but a state of pure experience in which i lose myself.
[3] adjust for your gender/sex and orientation.

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